Dear Lord, I acknowledge that where I’m not able You are. I realise that in order for me to move up I need to let go and let You take control. In selflessness I praise your name for always taking me through dark times and for the blessings You constantly send me although most of the time I don’t deserve them. I pray for strength to not give up, I pray that instead of getting lost in myself I become able to get lost in Your word. I open my heart and soul to You and pray You have your way with me. Amen.

    I sent this prayer to a friend a little while ago. It has now become SO relevant to me. Grateful nonetheless.

    Church and Speaking in Tongues - My Thoughts

    Let me start by saying that I lost the love I had for church, I lost this a while ago. When I walk into church I need to feel at home because I’m in my Fathers house right? Well I stopped feeling like I was at home and so needed to take myself out of that environment. Because of that I haven’t been to church for quite a while.

    But you see church and pastors in general yeah? I find it really hard to trust them - very very hard. I feel that too many of them do not have my best interests at heart and because of this I constantly find myself questioning what they say so in affect questioning my maker. Surely I shouldn’t have to question God right?

    I feel that too many pastors lose sight of God and what was written in the Bible and mix it with their own ideologies and traditional practices [mainly African] and make it seem like this is golden.

    But today a family friend tweeted that she had signed up to attend a seminar on ‘Speaking in Tongues’. I then questioned her and she said that the course was to literally teach you to speak in tongues. This angered me inside.

    I’m not going to act like I know a lot about speaking in tongues because I really don’t. But what I do know and believe to be the truth is that speaking in tongues is a blessing from God not something you can be taught the same way you are taught a language and that is how it came across.

    I don’t trust many if any pastors but I trust God! I’ve been told that I’m a bad Christian and that I have backslidden etc because I’m not in church and because I’m not a ‘saint’ but you know what? I don’t really care. I don’t believe in Religion - I believe in God.

    My relationship with God is solid and always will be because in this world He is the only thing I have from going insane. And with all my ‘unholiness’ He still loves me and blesses me same way so keep your opinions to yourself.

    I’ll end it with this:

    Every saint had a past and every sinner has a future.

    Don’t get me wrong being in church is important - Praise and Worship and preaching are a powerful part of praising Gods name. But make sure your relationship with God is healthy. Make sure His name is the first one you call on when you cannot cope and the first name you praise when things are going well. To me that is what is important.

    My Prayer and Goals For The Next 24 Hours

    On Facebook I’m apart of this group called ‘If Not For God’ - every night I’m more than guaranteed an inbox with a daily devotional bound to just lift up my spirits.

    A few weeks back I received one called ‘Taking Territory Now’ which at that particular time was what I needed to hear. This is what it said:

    But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me? They are always twisting what I say; they spend their days plotting to harm me (Psalm 56:3-5)


    “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”(Psalm 56:3) What does that mean to you? At IF NOT FOR GOD we are practical, set a goal for yourself to think and talk only about the things that you want for the next 24 hours. This will be one of the hardest things you ever do. But if you can keep your mind on what you want and off what you don’t want for 24 hours, you can begin to change your entire future. How did Jesus endure the terror of the crucifixion? He went first to the Father with his fears (Mark 14:32-42). Do the same with yours. Don’t avoid life’s Gardens of Gethsemane. Enter them.
    Just don’t enter them alone. And while there, be honest. Pounding the ground is permitted. Tears are allowed … And be specific … He knows what you need. God help me to recognise your voice and give me the spirit to always obey when you speak to me in Jesus name.

    So this is my prayer/goals for the next 24 hours:

    Dear God,

    I pray that as I enter this new week I enter with a clear mind and a pure heart - that the troubles of the weekend are left in the weekend and the new week brings a long a new more positive attitude. I pray that I’m able to dedicate myself to college work as well as other projects I’m embarking in ensuring that I’m able to give my best. Father I give all thanks to You for Your kindest, Your mercy and Your Love - I pray that though I may fall off track, I never lose sight of your grace. In Your mighty name, Amen.

    Have a blessed week everyone :)

    First thing early Monday morning I’m gonna pack my tears away…(8)

    I feel a hell of a lot better than I did this time last night and I thank God ever so much for humbling me today. I know my mood is likely to change as it does but for right now I shall praise God for giving me a piece of mind hey :)

    Just finished ‘Waiting To Exhale’ I forgot how much I love this film and films alike those good ole’ classics.

    I hope everyone has enjoyed their weekend :)